Raisans
by JRutherford
Summary: I'll be down. I'll be around. I'll be hanging where eventually you'll have to be.


"Ah, Italy-chan, you're so cute~!" Spain cooed over the smaller nation. He pinched Feli's cheeks, sucking in all the cuteness he could possibly take in, cooing and smiling the entire time. Romano stood in the background, watching that bastard Spain degrade himself over his stupid little brother. It was sick.

Lovi gave a harsh sigh and headed off home, or rather, to Spain's home. He didn't particularly love it there, but he didn't hate it either. His main reason for staying? Antonio, of course. It was his home, after all, he had to be there eventually. Romano would just hang around, waiting for his return, though he'd never admit it.

"How dare he leave just to visit my stupid little brother. What's he got that I don't?" he asked himself aloud. "I'm just as good, if not better…Damn." He ran his hand through his dark brown hair.

He wondered if Antonio was oblivious to his spying. If he knew what he was doing to poor Lovi. He ripped out his heart and practically handed it to him. Although, he'd never say it. No, never admit it, that wasn't what was in his interest. He wasn't that kind of man. No. That was his brother's job. Maybe that's why Antonio liked him better. Maybe that's why he went to visit him more often. Maybe, just maybe.

Romano walked into Spain's room and let himself fall on the bed. This bed was not unfamiliar to him, he knew the soft feeling. The warm feeling of this bed, with Spain's scent filling the air, along with his own. He knew this scenery all too well, which was one thing his brother didn't have on him. It was not he who slept on this bed, it was not he who hugged Antonio, feeing the warmth mixed from the bed sheets and the body to his own. No it was not Feli who did this, but Lovi.

So then why?

Why did that bastard Spain coo over Feli? Why was he so entranced by Feli? Why did he love and praise him so much, and then compared the two. They obviously weren't the same, and it was obvious to Romano that Spain had a favorite. And he just could not understand why. But he could never ask.

There was an emotional force standing in his way. There was only everything standing in his way. Everything surrounding him, causing a blockade to give him no emotion but frustration. Occasionally he could reach the others, but it was so damn hard. So damn hard knowing that Antonia was so near, but he could not even move his hand to clasp onto the other's like he so desperately wanted to do.

"Oh, Romano, you're home already," Spain said, entering the bedroom. He strolled in, cheerful and carefree, not unusual. Romano could feel the hate growing inside, the child born of jealousy and envy. And it was growing up all too quickly.

Lovi felt the lump in his throat form. He knew that he was where Spain had to be, though at that moment he wished he wasn't. He wanted to leave, but God no, he couldn't. He couldn't leave that bastard Spain alone. He was the ticket to something Lovi wanted so bad. He couldn't name what, but he knew it was something only Spain could give him. Or at least, tat's how it felt. Damn it all.

He stared at Antonio, who was getting dressed for bed. His usual muscle shirt and shorts. Lovi stared, hoping Antonio would receive some sort of message and would show him an ounce of caring for him. Only him. Not his usual cheerfulness, but true caring for another being like so many others do for each other. He wanted it so much, it was killing him, the mere feeling of even looking in his direction. Spain noticed the staring and smiled at him, much to Romano's surprise.

"Eh? What is it, Lovi? Want to sleep with me tonight?" he asked.

God that voice. He couldn't stand to hear him say it with the same voice he used to coo his stupid brother with. And yet, he longed to hear more, directed into his ear, directed to and only for him.

"Yes." Is what Lovi would have liked to say, but the words that came out of his mouth were, "Hell no, you stupid bastard! Damn it."

There went everything standing in front of him again. He sighed in his mind. I did it again. Damn it Spain. Help me.

Spain gave him a confused look. "Well, alright then, I'm going to bed now. Buenas noches, Lovi."

"Buona notte."

Spain walked over to Romano and placed a small kiss on his forehead. He smiled and walked over to his bed, where he climbed in as Romano walked away and shut the door behind him.

He touched his forehead and glowed pink. He staggered back to his own room, his hand still on his forehead. He would call this is start. It was another one up he had on his little brother. Lovi smiled tenderly to himself and he sat on his own bed. His cheeks felt hot, a warm sensation tingling in the very pit of his stomach. He had an odd mixture of sorrow and happiness. It's a start.

He sprawled himself out on his bed, lying on his belly. It was a start, he kept repeated to himself.

"I guess I'll just hand here, where eventually he'll have to be."


End file.
